Passionate Legacy

Everyone looks to some source to provide their sense of identity.  Identity is essentially how I view myself or who I am as a person.  It is how I define myself.  It is what I use to decide whether or not I have value.  It is also what I use to determine if I am acceptable to myself, God, and others.  One source that people look to define themselves, is the approval of certain people, like a father, boss, husband, wife, or children.  One example might be looking to a father for our worth.  When he approves of us we feel like we are worth something; we feel good and…

One side note is that different phases of childhood require different methods of parenting.  Children in the first five years of life require discipline.  A parent has all of the responsibility for the child’s welfare and therefore all of the authority over him.  As children grow up they gain authority over their lives as they gain responsibility for their life decisions.  They are becoming responsible for their own choices and therefore need to be allowed to make those choices.  They are becoming their own person with their own thoughts, feelings, and beliefs, and they have a right to those thoughts, feelings, and beliefs.  They slowly gain autonomy over time rather…

You just found out that your teenager lied to you, skipped school, snuck out, used drugs, etc.  What do you do?  As a parent, how do you respond?  You may be angry at your teen, you may be embarrassed by their behavior, you may be feeling hurt and betrayed, you may feel like a failure, and/or you may want to prevent them from being able to engage in this kind of behavior ever again.  You may feel like expressing your anger or your hurt feelings, or making new restrictions that keeps your teen more under control and supervised.  These are all legitimate feelings and desires; the question is, what are…

Last time we talked about some principles for preventing conflict around food.  We cannot force a child to eat, but we will develop a strategy that will use our greatest ally, the child’s own hunger, to help the child learn self-control and healthy eating habits.  This will only work if the strategy is not sabotaged by allowing snacking between meals.  Here are the steps: Make sure to have 4 consistent, predictable eating times every day (3 meals and a set snack time).   Serve healthy meals with at least 3 food groups that are age appropriate and let them choose what to eat off the plate.  For young children, simple or…

There are many times and circumstances in which kids seem to drag parents into a power struggle.  One common area of parenting that is often the setting for power struggles is around meal times and eating.  So in this and the next article, we will cover some principles and strategies for eliminating power struggles around food.  First, a parent needs to realize that eating is something that a parent cannot and should not force a child to do.  This is a very important foundation for talking about power struggles surrounding food because it means we need to develop a strategy in which the child chooses to eat.  The second principle…

It is a common belief that all teens go through a period of rebellion.  But the fact is, teen-age rebellion can be prevented.  There are two things that parents need to do as they raise their children to prevent rebellion in the teen years.  The first is, always treat your child with respect.  One of the main ingredients in a good relationship is respect.  Respect is essential whether it is a marriage, a friendship, or a parent-child relationship.  People will not trust you, or think well of you, or even like you if they feel like you do not see them as valuable or worthy.  People feel degraded when someone…

A four year old boy and his mother were visiting at our house.  It was time to go and he was asked to put away the toys he was playing with, and he said “No.”  Not only would he not pick up, but he would not put down the marbles he had in his hand.  His mother asked him repeatedly to put the marbles down, but he just ignored her and held them tightly.  His mom tried asking nicely, reasoning with him, promising she would buy him the same toy from the store, telling him she would tell his dad when they get home, counted to three, told him she…

Parents of young children … are you developing a comprehensive philosophy of parenting? Links refererenced in this post …  Bryana Johnson’s Blog at: http://thecollegeconservative.com/2012/03/15/underage-dating-the-elephant-in-the-social-conservative-living-room/ Podcast which includes the blog as well as commentary at: http://www.sermonaudio.com/sermoninfo.asp?SID=510131258181 As parents, we have an incredible responsibility and opportunity to shape not only our child, but our child’s future and in doing so, we also shape the future of our world!  We leave a legacy.  For better or for worse, we will leave a legacy. Ironically, many people will study more for their driver’s test than they will for raising the next generation of human beings that will inhabit and be the caretakers of our world and the…

So how do we apply this in parenting?   How do we provide a self-esteem that is biblical and not secular?  Teaching your child self-esteem is essentially teaching the Gospel. Here are the main truths that you want to teach your children to believe about themselves:1. Love yourself as Christ loves the church. Ephesians 5:292. Know you can do all things (but only) through Christ who strengthens you. Philippians 4: 133. None of us is “good enough.”  And yet you don’t have to be “good enough” to be valuable and loved. Know that God loves you as you are.  We are not “good enough” on our own, it is only through…