I was sent the following question in response to last week’s post: “So what is ‘proper discipline’ when my 3 year old screams ‘no’ in my face or won’t listen to my request to pick up his toys? Is raising my voice to gain his attention appropriate? What are the alternatives? Thank you.” I will describe a process that, if applied consistently, will greatly reduce this behavior. I believe it will have good results in the short term, and in the long term, the results will be profound. But it will take time, patience and consistency! You cannot be in a hurry each time this process takes place. Last week…

All anger has somewhere in its root a blocked goal or an unmet expectation. I want my commute to be smooth and nobody to cut me off in traffic … my expectation is NOT met, now I am angry. I want my children to not whine or argue with me … my expectation is NOT met, now I am upset. Not only am I not in control of my child, I am not in control of myself. If I allow this anger to affect how I discipline my child, it will most likely be counterproductive to the teaching process. Remember anger in a parent only serves to lose the respect…

… and it is us. The greatest barrier to teaching our kids self control is … yup, you and me. Over dinner we say, “You will never believe what my stupid supervisor did today …” Behind the wheel we say, “Hey idiot, get out of my way!” Then later, “That cop was such a jerk to give me that ticket!” What about when you don’t want the phone call, “Tell him I’m not home.” Our kids have just picked up our practices concerning four very important areas of life: submission to authority, patience with others, obeying the law and honesty. Our attitude toward our boss, will become their attitude toward…

Think about it … the skill of self-control is foundational for all other moral behavior. Your toddler has been told countless times not to take the toy from the other child, but still does it. When it is taken back by force, she knows not to hit, but she does anyway. She has been taught to stay in her bed during nap time, but getting up to play is so much more fun. She has been instructed not to push food off her plate when she is full, but it is a battle at every meal. Self-control is the root from which all other moral behaviors grow. When my daughter,…

I have seen it too many times … children who disregard their parents authority. They do not obey the first time, they show disregard for their parents authority and in worst cases, they are out of control. What happened? How did it get this way? In many cases, I believe that the parents have given their authority away to the kids. This leads us to Passionate Legacy Principle #2: Accept your right and responsibility to train your children. The parents have been given the responsibility to train, care and provide for a household. With that comes the authority to determine and enforce the principles that will be lived out in…