Much of the following is from Taking Charge by Joanne Nordling (SYBYL Publications, 1999).Children who avoid or refuse to do the daily chores of their lives are engaging in routine not-minding behavior. Not finishing school work, not cleaning their room, continually leaving the bicycle out in the rain, leaving their snack mess in the kitchen, not being responsible for feeding the pet, not tak­ing out the garbage, “sneaky” behaviors like getting into off-limit items and stealing are common examples. The child knows the behaviors that are expected, knows certain behaviors are to be done on a regu­lar basis, knows he or she will encounter strong negative attention from adults if…

“Ignoring,” also called “The Neutral Stance” When your teenager begins to escalate after you have followed through with a consequence, or they if they begin to argue with you after you have said “no” to a request, you’ll want to use “the neutral stance” in response.  The neutral stance is not passive. Rather it is the result of your active decision not to involve yourself in your child’s misbehavior. You remain calm and unwavering as your child escalates in an attempt to engage you in a power struggle.  You do not let emotions guide you.  Instead, you go about your routine, refusing to give in to your child’s demands and…