Passionate Legacy

In one sense, low self-esteem is the opposite of pride.  In another sense, low self-esteem is a form of pride. It is rejecting what God says about us, and putting our opinion above God’s.  Low self-esteem is a focus on all the negative thoughts others may be having about us, and is, in that respect, self-centered.  Also some people with low self-esteem are very defensive about their looks or abilities because they are hanging on to their last shred of self-esteem and when it is threatened they become enraged, argumentative and accusatory.  It simply takes a different route to get to the same destination, that is, self-absorption, self-obsession, and selfishness.…

Some extreme behaviors that result from an inaccurate view of “self” are: extreme pride and self-centeredness, chronic lying, absence from church and school, legalism, severe withdrawal from society, lower academic achievement, deep feelings of loneliness, workaholism, depression, poor mate selection, extreme self-criticism, substance abuse, sexual promiscuity, unreasonable fears, avoidance of intimate relationships and suicidal thinking and attempts. Providing the right foundation for our children’s self-esteem is one of the many important things we do for them.  It is important because how we see ourselves affects the way we treat others and the way we allow ourselves to be treated.  The way we think about ourselves can often be traced back…

Recently I saw a picture on Facebook of some parents who took pictures of themselves (intentionally embarrassing) and posted them to their teen’s Facebook page.  Their daughter had been disrespectful to them, and they were posting the photos as a form of “punishment”.  The picture and the news story that followed circulated quickly around the internet and literally hundreds of thousands of other parents “liked” the article to show their support for these parents and this form of discipline.  My question for these parents is: how is that working for you?  Is your daughter more respectful now that you have publicly humiliated her in front of millions of people?  Does…

Anger is one way we sabotage our own discipline here are some others: Procrastination– Repeating yourself but not following through until you are angry, only teaches the child that it is safe to ignore the first three or four commands.  Threatening but not following through, teaches the child that your word is meaningless.  Giving in to demands when he/she whines enough, conditions your child to continue to push because they know they will eventually wear you down. Talking too much– Talking during discipline sabotages the correction because it is giving emotional attention for bad behavior. Only give attention to behaviors you want repeated.   Advising, lecturing, moralizing or teaching when either…

Why is it that when a substitute teacher visits a class, many times the students are on their worst behavior.  Because, for kids, it is very entertaining to cause someone to lose complete control of themselves, while they act like they have control over you … when they really don’t have any control at all.  How the substitute responds to discipline issues and challenges to her authority will make all the difference between gaining respect and getting the class under control, or losing respect and all sense of order. Students, and most people for that matter, don’t have respect for someone who can’t control their own emotions. Passionate Legacy Principle…

Dating is a challenging issue that parents of teens eventually have to face. What age is appropriate for dating?  What does dating look like?  Does it mean to go out and enjoy time with someone or does it mean to commit exclusively to someone?  Is there a good purpose that dating fulfills in the life of a teen?  Are there any negatives to dating?  There are a lot of issues to consider.  Long before the dating years begin, a parent should take the time to educate their pre-teen in the purpose of marriage, the importance of purity, the necessity of personal convictions, the importance of choosing a mate carefully, and…

What is the best age to allow a child or teen to own a cell phone?  What questions should be considered?  When making the decision to allow your child to have a cell phone of his own, it is important to thoroughly evaluate the pros and cons.  Some of the pros are that you can easily communicate with a child about transportation and their whereabouts and be assured of their safety.  One of the cons is that a cell phone provides complete privacy in conversations with friends.  The accountability of talking in the family home, where others might hear gossip or bad language is gone.  A child is free to…

A major issue in the lives of teenagers today is the vast amount of media in which they are exposed to and have available to them.  Cable television, movies, cell phones, music, internet and especially Facebook plays a huge role in the lives of many young people and families.  As parents who want to pass Christian values on to our children we must be aware and involved in the lives and choices of our children when it comes to this very important area of media.  We determined to educate ourselves and be actively involved with our children in this area.  We took the time to carefully consider what is and…

Hope for Parents of  Troubled Teens addresses some of the most important topics that are relevant to parents of teenagers.  Some of the topics included are: parenting styles, parenting goals, keeping the marriage relationship strong, teen-parent communication, peer pressure, drugs, alcohol, sex, rebellion, and runaways.   The author provides specific and practical application to be completed by the parents and teen at the end of each chapter.  The book is also based on biblical wisdom with plenty of scripture references throughout.  The underlying parenting philosophy of the book is that responding to rebellion by emphasizing parental authority and/or aggression will not lead to success.  While the rebelling teenager needs limits, he…

Passionate Legacy Principle #7: Understand the phases of childhood and adjust parenting goals and methods for each phase. At what age do you allow your children to.…  Pick their own clothes in the morning?  Order from a menu in a restaurant?  Pick their own cereal?  Have an alarm clock?   Have a say in what movies they watch?  Select their own music?  Choose their own clothes at the store?  Get pierced ears?   Have a Facebook account?  Wear make-up?  Pick their own homework time?  Sleep over at a friends house?  Choose their own hairstyle?  Go out on a Date?    How do you discern what issues are worth the relational strain that comes…