You just found out that your teenager lied to you, skipped school, snuck out, used drugs, etc.  What do you do?  As a parent, how do you respond?  You may be angry at your teen, you may be embarrassed by their behavior, you may be feeling hurt and betrayed, you may feel like a failure, and/or you may want to prevent them from being able to engage in this kind of behavior ever again.  You may feel like expressing your anger or your hurt feelings, or making new restrictions that keeps your teen more under control and supervised.  These are all legitimate feelings and desires; the question is, what are…

Last time we talked about some principles for preventing conflict around food.  We cannot force a child to eat, but we will develop a strategy that will use our greatest ally, the child’s own hunger, to help the child learn self-control and healthy eating habits.  This will only work if the strategy is not sabotaged by allowing snacking between meals.  Here are the steps: Make sure to have 4 consistent, predictable eating times every day (3 meals and a set snack time).   Serve healthy meals with at least 3 food groups that are age appropriate and let them choose what to eat off the plate.  For young children, simple or…

There are many times and circumstances in which kids seem to drag parents into a power struggle.  One common area of parenting that is often the setting for power struggles is around meal times and eating.  So in this and the next article, we will cover some principles and strategies for eliminating power struggles around food.  First, a parent needs to realize that eating is something that a parent cannot and should not force a child to do.  This is a very important foundation for talking about power struggles surrounding food because it means we need to develop a strategy in which the child chooses to eat.  The second principle…

It is a common belief that all teens go through a period of rebellion.  But the fact is, teen-age rebellion can be prevented.  There are two things that parents need to do as they raise their children to prevent rebellion in the teen years.  The first is, always treat your child with respect.  One of the main ingredients in a good relationship is respect.  Respect is essential whether it is a marriage, a friendship, or a parent-child relationship.  People will not trust you, or think well of you, or even like you if they feel like you do not see them as valuable or worthy.  People feel degraded when someone…

A four year old boy and his mother were visiting at our house.  It was time to go and he was asked to put away the toys he was playing with, and he said “No.”  Not only would he not pick up, but he would not put down the marbles he had in his hand.  His mother asked him repeatedly to put the marbles down, but he just ignored her and held them tightly.  His mom tried asking nicely, reasoning with him, promising she would buy him the same toy from the store, telling him she would tell his dad when they get home, counted to three, told him she…

Parents of young children … are you developing a comprehensive philosophy of parenting? Links refererenced in this post …  Bryana Johnson’s Blog at: http://thecollegeconservative.com/2012/03/15/underage-dating-the-elephant-in-the-social-conservative-living-room/ Podcast which includes the blog as well as commentary at: http://www.sermonaudio.com/sermoninfo.asp?SID=510131258181 As parents, we have an incredible responsibility and opportunity to shape not only our child, but our child’s future and in doing so, we also shape the future of our world!  We leave a legacy.  For better or for worse, we will leave a legacy. Ironically, many people will study more for their driver’s test than they will for raising the next generation of human beings that will inhabit and be the caretakers of our world and the…

So how do we apply this in parenting?   How do we provide a self-esteem that is biblical and not secular?  Teaching your child self-esteem is essentially teaching the Gospel. Here are the main truths that you want to teach your children to believe about themselves:1. Love yourself as Christ loves the church. Ephesians 5:292. Know you can do all things (but only) through Christ who strengthens you. Philippians 4: 133. None of us is “good enough.”  And yet you don’t have to be “good enough” to be valuable and loved. Know that God loves you as you are.  We are not “good enough” on our own, it is only through…

In one sense, low self-esteem is the opposite of pride.  In another sense, low self-esteem is a form of pride. It is rejecting what God says about us, and putting our opinion above God’s.  Low self-esteem is a focus on all the negative thoughts others may be having about us, and is, in that respect, self-centered.  Also some people with low self-esteem are very defensive about their looks or abilities because they are hanging on to their last shred of self-esteem and when it is threatened they become enraged, argumentative and accusatory.  It simply takes a different route to get to the same destination, that is, self-absorption, self-obsession, and selfishness.…

Some extreme behaviors that result from an inaccurate view of “self” are: extreme pride and self-centeredness, chronic lying, absence from church and school, legalism, severe withdrawal from society, lower academic achievement, deep feelings of loneliness, workaholism, depression, poor mate selection, extreme self-criticism, substance abuse, sexual promiscuity, unreasonable fears, avoidance of intimate relationships and suicidal thinking and attempts. Providing the right foundation for our children’s self-esteem is one of the many important things we do for them.  It is important because how we see ourselves affects the way we treat others and the way we allow ourselves to be treated.  The way we think about ourselves can often be traced back…